| Reception MUST PLAYs... |
[Aug. 24th, 2009|03:49 pm] |
Right, we have a 5 and a half hour reception..we were initially going to get guests to pick songs but P chickened out thinking (probably justifiably) that his mates would pick dodgy songs.
We won't be hiring a DJ, we'll be picking songs, then uploading them onto an ipod
So far I have on the short list:
artist song
Alex Llyod Amazing
Kylie Can't get you outta my head
Rhthym is a dancer
Barnes Working Class Man
Queen Bohemian Rhapsody
Prince Cream
Madonna Hung Up
Vogue
Belinda Carlisle Summer Rain
Ella Fitzgerald At Last
Cheek to Cheek
Sinatra Blue Moon
Nat King Cole I getta kick outta you
Roy Orbison Pretty Woman
Van Morrison Brown Eyed Girl
Grease - Summer Knights
80s cartoon melody
Pussycat dolls Dontcha
Blister in the Sun
Glen Miller In the Mood
ABBA Dancing queen
Bon Jovi Livin on a prayer
Run to Paradise
Groove is in the heart
New Order Blue Monday
Pink Let's get this party started
singed, sealed delivered I'm yours
Going to the chapel
Lord of the Rings music (selected pieces)
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon music (selected peices)
New World Adaigo suite
ACDC You shook me all night long
Eurythymics Sweet Dreams are made of these
Black Eyed Peas Pump it
I got a feeling
Poison Poison
Rolling Stones Paint it Black
Gloria Gaynor I will survive
Aretha Franklin RESPECt
Cyndia Laupa Girls just want to have fun
U2 Everlasting Love
Beautiful Day
All I want is you
Hunters & Collectors Throw your arms around me
Smashmouth Walking on the Sun
Justin Timberlake Sexyback
Beyonce Crazy in Love
Lady Gagga Pokerface
Greenday Time of my life
Michael Jackson Billie Jean
Kings of Leon Sex is on Fire
Jeff Buckley Hellayluja
Nick Cave Into my arms
Augie March One crowded hour
the beatles come together
daft punk one more time
Any feedback/thoughts/keep or cull suggestions would be appreciated! |
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| Bridezilla moment |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|10:21 pm] |
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everything for the wedding is well underway. Invites are being designed and I've received the proofs to edit/consider, reception is booked, church is booked, accommodation is booked, honeymoon booked, florist booked, hairdresser, beautician, cake....and just as I am about to sign off on the invites future MIL wants us to change the date to a date in jan which will cost $3k more cause its school hols just so one of her friends can make it. Its so stressful the thought of having to start everything from scratch again. I'm stressed out big time! I don't think its fair...whatever date it is there will be some people that can't make it. As long as those people aren't immediate family or part of the bridal party I don't care! Am I being a bitch?? |
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| I am amazed at how rude some people are!!! |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|09:29 am] |
Had our engagement party on the weekend at Little Creatures Loft in Freo. WIll upload some pics later. I was a bit annoyed at the organisers - essentially - despite us pre-paying for the food & drinks some $1500 and booking a month in advance, when we arrived they hadn't put reserve signs on any table, or ribboned an area off. I knew it wasn't an exclusive 'booking,' but thought our 'area,' would be clearly indicated. To make matters worse, some other members of the general public who weren't our engagement party guests were taking food off our platters and trying to rack up drinks on our bar tab. A good half a dozen people did this! I saw a couple doing this and indicated to the waiters not to give food to a few of them that weren't our guests. My mother-in-law to be noticed two of these non guests actually took an ENTIRE platter of food that was ours! She asked them, was that meant for them, they said they didn't know and kept eating it anyway! My partner noticed a couple in the drinks queue standing next to him saying "we're with them," and P interupted them and said "Oh really, that's funny because I don't actually know you and it's my engagement party and I know everyone on the list!" I'm sending a complaint off to Little Creatures management today.
APART from the rude gatecrashers we had a good time. P had too much of a good time, and was very, very hungover! We also got some good presents (I was expecting a few duds, but they were really all fanastic and thoughtful). |
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| Dates! |
[Jul. 3rd, 2009|02:36 pm] |
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I wish we could finalise a wedding date, right now there are about 4 different options...i think once the venues are booked everything else will be easy to organise around it! |
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| Betrothed to be... |
[May. 29th, 2009|12:28 pm] |
I got engaged on Monday after 4days on holiday down south! I think P had wonderous intentions of a romantic proposal on Cape Naturaliste lookout, however, a bushfire had gone through the area a few months earlier and the entire cape looked like a moonscape. When we finally got to the lookout, it was a beautiful view (if one looked to the ocean and not the charred remnants on the other side!). I had no idea, and when we got to the lookout I clambered over the edge and climbed down the edge to pick-up someone's rubbish that they'd dumped there. I hate people who throw their rubbish in the bush. I climb back up, rubbish in one hand, P's hand in the other when he got down on his knees and proposed. The ring is beautiful, simple white gold band with a central one carat round cut white diamond in the middle. A safe and elegant choice.
We are thinking about marrying in late Nov/Dec this year. We are still musing on venues though, I'd like to get married down south I like the harmony with the proposal and love the feeling of being on holiday, and food packages are a bit cheaper. On the downside, there might be some oldies that don't want travel/don't drive, and we may need to pay for (or subsidise) accommodation for people. Not sure how to get around it, maybe a small charter hire bus for the oldies that don't want to drive, or pool transport with other guests? |
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| I need a holiday! |
[May. 6th, 2009|04:33 pm] |
I'm looking at the awesome airfares to New York and the free offer of accommodation I have there and am mighty tempted...in the interim maybe a few days down south will suffice?
Got my Rudd stimulus Friday. iroomba here I come! No more vaccuuming for me!
I've planted my tulips and worried the unseasonally warm, dry weather means that they won't be chilled enough to flower in Spring. Sigh. I can't remember the last time it really, really rained. |
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| Top ten things... |
[Mar. 24th, 2009|09:25 am] |
1.) I participated in the freeway bike hike for asthma on the weekend. It was fun, exhilarating (especially riding through the tunnel) and the road surface was smooth to ride on and it was easy to pick up pace. I two thirds of the way through the 30km stretch feeling comfortable and making an easy pace when i heard a funny noise. At first I thought it was my backpack strap flapping against the tyres, then I thought it was my pack on the back where I store my bike lock. No not that. Then I pulled over and had my worst fears confirmed. Flat tyre. Not just a little bit flat, flatter than the chest of kate moss. I took off my pump and furiously started to try and get some air into it. No impact. Grr. Then there was lots of swearing. I was half tempted to try and keep riding, but riding on a dead flat tyre damages the rim. Still, I think if there was only 1km to go instead of 10, I would have risked it. Then I waved at the police on bikes supervising the ride to help my walk across the pack safely and get to the freeway off ramp. No help. I yelled- they shrugged to acknowlege they had heard me but still no action - if only i had doughnuts to offer! So I weaved through the pack speeding past and clambered up the off ramp and then walked through the scrubby bush till i saw were i was. Erindale Rd and phoned P to come and get me.
2.) My bike has been repaired and I am going to do the freeway bike hike on the cycle paths instead this weekend just because I can and because I was miffed with the bad luck I was dealth last weekend.
3.) the cyclepath up mitchell fwy is a disgrace, it chops over both sides of the freeway, detours into the burbs a bit, you get stopped crossing roads, etc...how hard is it to build a path that goes uninterupted down one side of the freeway?
4.) ok, my bike fury aside, I've resigned myself to accept the fact that my bonsai azalea is dead. I clung to the hope it was just recovering from the heat stress and the crispy leaves would recover with love and care and lots of water. But a month of love hasn't been enough, so last weekend I went to Wanneroo Markets and bought a replacement.
5.)I am STILL sick. The initial doctor I went to misdiagnosed me as having a chest infection and put me on a broadband catch all antibiotic. I took the first course, I took the repeat course. I started getting worse each night violently vomitting every coughing fit, gasping for breath during the night. Went to my normal doctor who says its a strain of whooping cough and has put me on different antibiotics. No more vomitting, so there has been an improvement, but still quite a bit of coughing every few hours so I'll have to take the repeat course.
6.) The antibiotics means I haven't had any alcohol since...14 Feb? I have come to realise being a designated driver is really boring and my friends are rather silly when drunk!
7.) My cat has been locked indoors since she was beaten up by next door's cat 2mths ago. She hates it. The neighbours have complained about her LOUD meowing. I bit my tongue and refrained from lashing back by saying it should really be their bully cat locked up.
8.) Council will not tell me yes or no whether or not you need permission for building a cat run. Go figure.
9.) My brother has just bought a house with his girlfriend of several years. Au contraire, my sister and her boyfriend have been knocked back on their home loans because he has bad credit.
10.) Is it just me, or is it REALLY REALLY rude to invite people to the engagement party and not invite them to the wedding. |
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| Sick! |
[Mar. 18th, 2009|10:53 am] |
Well, I've now been sick for over a month. I took a repeat course of antibiotics, the repeat course finished on Friday and since Friday I think the infection has fought back with vengence.
I'm not coughing as much, but short of breath all the time, and when I am coughing the fits are much worse - making me vomit. I haven't held a lunch or evening meal down now since Friday. Can't get in to see my dr till tomorrow. I don't actually feel too bad most of the time or in any pain at all, just very tired and sick of vomiting and the shortness of breath.
I've put myself back down to the slowest speed group for the freeway bike hike because my fitness has dropped away a bit since I got sick. I've been back at the gym for about a week now, but only taking it easy - light weights, and no back-to-back classes like I normally do when I'm feeling well.
Anyway, that is about all? |
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| Still sick... |
[Mar. 4th, 2009|09:13 am] |
Friday I eventually went to the drs. Couldn't get in to see my normal Dr in Vic Park so I went to the GP after hours at bentley and waited ages. His diagnosis is a nasty chest infection and the prescribed me some antibiotics and duro tuss forte (four times the strength of the duro tuss I was on to get rid of the phlegm. I am beginning to feel better (no fever anymore and coughing less) but just very, very tired because it isn't a non-drowsy medicine and I feel short of breath all the time.
Saturday I slept in till midday before heading out to Freo to look at a car P was interested in - a Jeep Grand Cheroke. We took it for a test drive. I didn't mind it and found it less clunky and easier to manouvere than most 4WDs. Since we were already in that part of the world we headed to the Freo markets and stocked up on fruit. I have been disappointed in the quality - its already gone bad - usually market fruit is longer lasting than what you'd buy at coles/woolies. Had an afternoon nap and we finished the evening at a bbq with friends.
Sunday I slept in again and in the arvo we went into Harbour Town and that evening we went to Little Caesars in Mundaring. Absolutely packed. My favourite was the black forest desert pizza. Yummo.
Monday (you guessed it) I slept in again, then we went for a drive up to Yanchep. It was quite bizarre seeing the ghost town like remnants of Dizzy Lamb Park, Atlantis...there was even tumbleweed blowing across the marina. The new housing estates that have popped up in this windswept place in the middle of nowhere. Made an excellent discovery on the drive home - on Wanneroo Rd, near the Strawberry wine place and just before the turn off to Barbagello Raceway is a guy who grows STONELESS mangoes. Smaller than normal mangoes, but because there is no stone, you end up with more flesh and I think the smaller ones are actually tastier. It was only $10 for like a bucket of 15 of them so we grabbed one and have since devoured most of it. I then just crashed to bed early. i had an awful night, struggling to breathe with each coughing fit and ended up taking Tuesday off and spending most of the day sleeping, and in between naps getting some washing done.
Back at work today but still feel like the wind is sucked out of me. Haven't been to the gym for two weeks since I've been sick. I'm beginning to think that my body might not be in a state to do the freeway bike hike anymore. Anyway, shall see how we go. |
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| Someone needs to kiss it all better! |
[Feb. 25th, 2009|09:23 am] |
On Thursday I started feeling sick - sore throat, coughing. The next day I would have stayed home from work but had an important conference to go to, so I went and coughed through most of it. Saturday I went to the gym and almost died, I had a long afternoon nap and then P had organised a bbq so I sat through that and Sunday my body just went into 'refuse mode.' I slept most of the day and managed to get in a half hour walk before accepting the illness and heading to the chemist - the $48 bill for the various concoctions he gave were harder to accept. The coughing fits have been particularly severe and I haven't had any sleep now for days. Monday I took the day off work, Tuesday I left early and last night a new symptom emerged during coughing fits - vomitting. Whoo hoo. Cough Cough cough hurl. Great. During one such incident I didn't make it to a bin/bucket/sink and ended up having to clean the goo off my arms and hands before dragging myself back to bed.
I think if its not better by tonight I am dragging myself to the dr even though I really hate waiting two hours for a five min consult in a waiting room where I'm sure I'm going to pick up something even more horrid and the magazines are all tattered, ancient and appeal to royal sychophants. Bleh.
The worst part is, I haven't had the energy to exercise and I'm in training for the freeway bike hike. Hopefully I'm in recovery soon or I will just have to pull out. I also feel really bad about keeping P awake with my coughing fits. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 19th, 2009|10:14 am] |
Well, after some mini-breaks that are always dangerous for blowing out a diet (and I DID eat very badly during those mini breaks) I'm back on track. I've lost 4kg, so really only 1-2 to go to return to my normal weight and avoid having to throw out a heap of clothes.
Last night I went to the gym for balance. The balance instructor was a no-show and management at the gym asked me to take it as a yoga class instead. Despite being completely unprepared it all went ok and I had quite a few people come up at the end of the class and thank me & ask if I teach elsewhere.
This morning, I woke up feeling a bit crappy as if I am coming down with a summer cold. I'm going to have to hit the ginger & lemon for a few days. |
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| Valentine's Day |
[Feb. 16th, 2009|09:36 am] |
Well, I was pretty chuffed on Friday night when I got a dozen red roses when P came home from work. He'd asked me what I wanted earlier in the day, and I said some flowers would be fine - he knows I enjoy having flowers in the house - I didn't expect to get them a day earlier.
P is particularly difficult to buy presents for. When I asked him what he wanted several days earlier he said 'nothing,' so I ended up trawling through shops and websites hoping for inspiration and settled on getting him a full day of deep sea fishing knowing that he likes a bit of fishing now and then.
Valentine's Day morning I got a chocolate teddy bear and a beautiful card with some heartfelt hand written words. It was really touching, knowing that P isn't the most touchy-feely guy in the world the words meant alot to me. Hell, I don't even think I read the hallmark prose, his words were enough. We had brekkie together and I trotted off to the gym, did a pump and a balance class which took two hours then went across the road and paid a bill and sauntered home.
To my surprise I was told to pack a bag - we're off somewhere overnight. I was covered in sweat and unco trackies and a shopping bag, so I quickly changed and threw some clothes together. I was a bit shocked - I knew for some weeks we were going to dinner together. I just didn't know it would involve an overnight stay. He wouldn't tell me where we were going except it was down south. Gradually, I began eliminating places as we drove further down the freeway, not Freo...not Mandurah...mandatory stop at the miami bakehouse for Perth's greatests pies...not bunbury...I watched as we approached the turn-off to head inland to nannup, donnybrook, bridgetown, but we continued on, past busselton, dunsborough...we headed down caves road and I began to suspect it was our usual cheap and cheerful haunt at cowaramup but we just went down caves to pop into the bushshack brewery and then we headed back into dunsborough and it was only then when we took the turn off to eagle bay that I knew. Not sheer guesswork or brilliance but simply a process of elimination: there is no-where else to stay on this stretch except private homes and bunker bay resort.
We arrived around 4.30, were upgraded from a one bedroom studio to a 2 bedroom villa closest to the beach. We threw our bags onto the king size beds and skipped down to the beach for a swim. It was a nice warm afternoon with a fairly gentle tide - I only got dumped once! We then headed back to the resort and swam in their pool perched on a ledge so that in the late afternoon light it was impossible to tell what was the edge of the pool water, the sea and the sky the blue hues blissfully merged into a liquid sky. We then enjoyed a three course meal with complimentary champers. My favourite was the dessert of bitter chocolate brulee. As our dinner was early at 6pm, by the time we finished the sun was just beginning to set so we went for a stroll to walk off our culminary indulgences (note to self: don't attempt walking along the cape rocks, sand and seaweed in heels ever again!)
We both slept like logs and rose to enjoy another swim in the calm bay before checking out mid morning and heading down caves road for brunch at Margaret River Providore. SECRET TIP: best scrambled eggs I have EVER, EVER eaten can be found here. They have free range chooks on the site and they collect their eggs twice daily, still warm from being laid and then whisked with harvey fresh cream. You can't beat quality ingredients. So fluffy and creamy we were both scraping every last piece of golden goodness off the plate.
It was then off to the Berry Farm. P was disappointed when he asked if the Prune Port no 5 was on the tasting list that they advised him that it was now no longer in production because it was one of their less popular ports. His face dropped. He asked hopefully if they had any left in stock and was advised it has sold out. He then looked in utter despair and began madly texting his mates who he knew still had a stash of it somewhere. From there we visited the Meadery in Karridale and tasted some fantastic honey beer (bees knees eat your heart out - this is better) we would have bought a slab but they only had one six pack left so we got that instead. From there we headed into Margs. Ironically, we there bumped into my sister and my niece who were holidaying that weekend in Busso. After a refreshing drink in Margs we drove out to the river mouth and took some photos. There were some blokes about 70, sitting in the back of their sandman van with their wetties down to their waist and their skin wrinkled and leathery as a crusty old crocodile but their smiles were worth their weight in gold. They were having a good time surfing and recalling their memorable rides. From there we went to Woody Nook to get my favourite port - Nooky Delight and then onto the last stop of the day Margaret River chocolate factory for a mid afternoon sugar and caffiene hit to keep us awake for the long drive home.
It was a beautiful weekend. |
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| Cheap Hooker airlines... |
[Feb. 11th, 2009|10:17 am] |
Well, P & I have resolved (I think now it is really for the LAST time) to never fly cheap hooker airlines ever again. I actually feel my breath quicken and my fists clench everytime I see Richard Branson's smiling face on the telly now. We arrived Friday, relaxed knowing there was 2hours before our flight departed for Sydney. Upon arrival we were told that our flight had been cancelled because their plane 'broke down,' in Adelaide. No refund was offered, no alternative seats made on other airlines because quote 'there were no seats available.'
While P was arguing with the airline staff, I wandered down to the Quantas desk. No only were there several business class seats available, but Virgin had NOT notified them of the cancelled flight or tried to accommodate their passengers. The $1700 per person business class flight was a bit rich for my budget though. Then the Quantas staff started checking other options for us and found an option of flying via Melbourne for $560 per person, and I snapped them up. Meanwhile, P had no luck getting a refund from Virgin - the best they would do was say to us we could get another flight with them at 4pm tomorrow (yeah right, we are going to camp out for 16 hours at the airport and miss out on the Top Gear event Sat morning which was our whole reason for travelling to Sydney in the first place). Not happy Jan!
The dramas continued with Quantas, the guy in the seat in front of me decided to load a speaker amplifier into the overhead luggage comparment above my seat. I remember thinking at the time, geez, that's a pretty big, heavy thing to try and squeeze up there maybe cabin crew could store it somewhere else, but I thought it would be too rude to tell him what to do with his luggage and shut up. When we arrived he opened the locker and it fell down and the corner of it hit me in the head. Hurt like hell and instinctively I screamed he didn't check to see if I was ok and knicked off. The rest of my trip I was avoiding the camera because I was sporting a big lump on my head, a nice bruise and a scab where the corner of the speaker broke my skin.
They say bad things happen in threes, and this proved no different. We arrived at the hotel, me holding ice against my noggin and P carrying the bags, checked in and went straight down to the train station to head out to Olympic Stadium. It was hot outside, about 40 degrees and you could feel the temperature rising the further into the western suburbs we went. Then all of a sudden, one stop from where we needed to be, the train stopped and the overhead announcement was that the service was experiencing an indefinite delay and they couldn't estimate a time when the train would re-start or a replacement train would arrive. Luckily, there were several other top gear travellers on board who banded up with us as we trekked through the flemington markets, with a vague idea that at some stage we should hit Parramatta Road where we should be able to score a cab and then get ourselves to the arena. We stopped to ask a guy for directions, and he took pity on us and offered us all a lift so we all crammed into his 4 wheel drive between the crates of mangoes and free range eggs.
I think thats where our bad luck ended. The Top gear show itself was really entertaining (and I'm not really into cars - P loves cars - but even I found the show amusing. We then headed back to the hotel, went for a swim to cool off and then crash for an afternoon siesta.
Sunday, we headed down to Circular Quay for my favourite almond crossaints in Australia from a tiny little vendor outside the train station and then we caught up with friends for Yum Cha in China Town. That arvo we wandered through the markets at the Rocks, grabbed a burger and ate dessert at the Gulyian Cafe. This was followed by cocktails on top pf the Shangrila Hotel with a stunning view of Sydney. I ordered Sex on the bar vodka, rasberries, passionfruit - and it was delicious. I was NOT allowed to order Martini on the Rocks ($10,000 and comes with a diamond in the drink!) I'd thoroughly recommend anyone travelling to Sydney pay a visit to the Shangrila.
Monday, we dined at the Max Bremner Choclate Cafe for brekkie (chocolate waffles with strawberries and bananas which was delicious) caught the ferry to Taronga and did a new bushwalk that went round to Clifton Gardens and back, trekking through some beautiful bushland with coastal views and remants of old military barracks scattered throughout. That night we went Sydney Cafe and had a delicious meal. The wait staff were friendly, attentive and I was a bit taken aback. I guess you just get used to experiencing bad service as the norm in Perth.
Tuesday it was raining all day, so we pretty much wandered our way through the shops until we got bored and thought bugger the rain and jumped on a ferry to Watson's Bay. I think P' enjoyed boat-perving at the marine craft in Rose Bay and Double Bay. We noticed alot of police and aircraft around Garden Island and as it turns out a guy was attacked by a shark that morning.
Tuesday night we took our return flight with Virgin, again, not without hiccups (tickets had the wrong gate number printed on them) but we realised this error in time to get to the right gate. All in all it was a much needed break. However I am VERY annoyed with Virgin and hopefully we will manage to get a refund from them. |
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| Slow progress |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|10:29 am] |
Well, since starting the diet I've now lost 3kg. Still 2kg to go to get back to my normal weight. If I fail, I'm just going to have to face facts that a few of the clothes I really like don't fit me anymore & will need to give them away. I had a slip up (sort of?) on Sat - had chinese lunch for chinese new year celebrations - but even though it was fatty I was careful with my portion sizes so don't feel so bad.
On the exercise front, I did 30km on the bike yesterday, at an everage cruising speed of 35km per hour. So, I'm confident I should be able to tcomplete the freeway bike hike and do it in a reasonable time frame. I'm not going to be in the top finishers by any means but I should complete the race comfortably and not embarrass myself. And I fully intend to put the bike on the train to get back home! |
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| Bits and Bobs |
[Jan. 28th, 2009|01:04 pm] |
1) Chocolate mud cake was the one that broke my diet yesterday. A great big tantalising piece. However once I bit into it I was immediately disappointed. It is never as good as one imagines! I'm going to try and make sure this slip up doesn't see my diet going into free-fall. I'm going to save up my chocolate cravings for a visit to the Lindt cafe in Darling Harbour next month.
2) I've found a lunchtime yoga place that runs 45 min classes twice a week and is only 5 mins walk from my work. I did my first class there yesterday and I plan to make it a regular event till our office move happens.
3) I watched Australia Day fireworks from the vic park council balcony & some friends awesome view. Beforehand, we enjoyed lamb burgers with beetroot, salad and mayo and a big fruit salad. Yummo! |
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| Boot Camp II |
[Jan. 22nd, 2009|09:35 am] |
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Well, did another three hours exercise yesterday. Things are on track, but I'm wary of the Australia Day long weekend - gym will be closed Monday and we have friends over for a BBQ so there will be the temptation to eat rubbish food like chips and dip. |
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| NYE and 2009 |
[Jan. 1st, 2009|11:24 pm] |
Well, I cooled down on a stinking hot Perth NYE lounging around in P's pool drinking cosmos until I pulled myself out for a delicious lamb bbq enjoyed with half a dozen mates.
This year I would like to achieve a few things - my first goal is fairly simple - I want to learn to cook something new once a week. I have been getting too slack in the kitchen and eating out too much. My mum got me a four ingredient cookbook which should help. I started today making a white chocolate and cherry ice cream and tomorrow I am going to try to make friands which I've never tried to make before. I'd like to loose 3-4 kilos. I'd like to travel up north around easter and head overseas in spring. I'd also like to take better care of my paperwork, last year I lost a bill and ended up paying a large late payment fee because of my carelessness! |
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| Love |
[Dec. 22nd, 2008|10:35 am] |
I just wanted to share a beautiful piece from my favourite judge
The truth about life
Michael Kirby
December 17, 2008
THERE is nothing like the prospect of a radical life change to concentrate the mind on the things that really matter. I want to identify, if I can, the most important thing that I have discovered. I refer to love. Love for one another. Love for our community. Love for others everywhere in the world. Love transcends even scholarship, cleverness and university degrees. It is greater than pride and wealth. It endures when worldly vanities fade.
Love exists at different levels. Last week, in Australia and the world, we celebrated the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It was brought into effect by an Australian, Dr H. V. Evatt (a past justice of the High Court of Australia) and president of the General Assembly of the United Nations in 1948 when the declaration was adopted.
Over the ensuing six decades, it became the foundation for the worldwide movement to express the fundamental freedoms that inhere in all human beings, simply because they are human. Of course, there are people and interests with unchecked power who hate such notions. These are ideas to put limits on their power. To uphold the dignity of the powerless. To put a brake on the hegemony of the rich and influential.
The essential underpinning of fundamental human rights is love. Love for one another. Empathy for fellow human beings. Feeling pain for the refugee; for the victim of war; for the prisoner deprived of the vote; for the child dying of cholera in Zimbabwe. We can imagine what it must be like to be a victim because, as human beings, we too feel, and yearn for, life, freedom and justice.
Australians must be voices for the voiceless and protectors of the weak and vulnerable. With our privileges and gifts go duties and obligations. Australian democracy is not merely a rule of majorities. Don't believe it when public figures say otherwise or when sections of the media, revelling in their power, say that everything can be safely left to parliament, which will quickly fix things up. Majorities can certainly err. They have done so in the past. They will do so again. Basic human rights afford the means to remind majorities of the love they owe to all human beings, both at home and abroad.
We need to love our communities. In Australia, we did not always love our indigenous people. Some still don't. In law, we rejected their land rights. We consigned them to the outskirts of our civilisation. Many are still there. So too with Asian people in the decades of White Australia. We did not love them either. We feared their numbers and their different ways. So also for women and for gays. Here, too, there was an absence of love and empathy. Now we Australians are getting better. I believe that this is because of knowledge, acquaintance and love.
We reserve a special love for our families, our partners and closest friends. Anglo-Celts (and especially the males of the species) find that little word "love" terribly hard to say.
Until last week, my partner, Johan, was a second-class citizen of Australia. Thirty years ago he renounced his proud nationality of the Netherlands to join us, as others from so many lands have done. But he was denied recognition and equal treatment under our law.
In the closing weeks of 2008, the Australian Parliament removed some of this inequality. Government and Opposition members joined in rare harmony to get rid of a lot of legal discrimination: specifically to equalise Johan with the pension rights of the partners of other judges.
But why did it take so long? Why did all that powerful opposition to reform crumble to be revealed for what it was: unloving prejudice against fellow citizens?
Human rights charters exist to call unequal treatment of fellow citizens to the notice of parliament so that it can correct the wrong. Had we enjoyed such a national reminder of the need to treat all our citizens equally — and to avoid unjustifiable discrimination — the wrongs that our laws did in Australia to Aborigines, to Asians, to women, to gays and to others might have been repaired much more quickly.
Everywhere people are talking about stress and depression in professional lives — the opposite of calm love. A recent study of a large cohort of lawyers in Australia showed that depression affects almost a third of solicitors and a fifth of barristers. More than 40 per cent of university students experience distress severe enough to warrant medical assessment.
The pressures of daily life, for which university degrees prepare us, often impose crushing burdens. Some cannot cope. Many make mistakes because of stress. But at least we are now talking about it; not just bottling it up in denial. At least we understand today that free meals at midnight from the boss, child-care subsidies and a sofa bed in the office are not necessarily provided altruistically for the benefit of employees. Sometimes they represent just another means of extracting more billable hours.
Perhaps I am the last person who should be telling you this. After all, my published recreation in Who's Who is "work". But I recognise that the work-life balance is definitely critical for happiness and long-term success. So it is legitimate for each one of us to keep a little true love for ourselves. To demand a space, often pro bono, to do work as a volunteer. Work that is uplifting and noble. Work that gives satisfaction and does good in society, as we know our vocations can sometimes do.
When we take time to think about what our lives actually mean, we surely know how lucky we are if we still enjoy consciousness, rationality and love. But the greatest of these is love. |
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